DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
