you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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