Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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