Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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