pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
