Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
