well you can't waste a boner
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
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