What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
