Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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