Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
