the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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