It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
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