I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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