This girl is more easily done than said...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
