i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
