He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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