they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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