when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
