Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
