can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize