Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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