If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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