If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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