i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
