somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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