I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
