Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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