1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
