so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
