I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
