did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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