Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
