I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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