i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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