No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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