So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
