I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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