so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
