Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
