things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
