I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
