Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
