I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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