the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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