a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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