We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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