You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
