Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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