Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
drinking out of a sandbucket again
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
