I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
