if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
