In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
